Even Failing is Part of the Journey

According to a review book just about every medical student uses, First Aid for USMLE Step 1, "Failure may trigger weeks or months of sadness, feelings of hopelessness, social withdrawal, and inability to concentrate - in other words, true clinical depression."

So, not to ignore the elephant in the room. For those of you who haven't yet heard, I did not pass my USMLE Step 1. I earned a 182, but needed a 185 to pass. And yes, the wind was knocked out of my sails when I got my score report and I was mopey and just plain lethargic for a few days afterwards. But, I was also reflective. I thought about my life choices, about whether med school truly is what I want or need to be doing. And after several days of prayer, meditation and reflection, I realized - being in medical school is EXACTLY what I want to be doing right now. Becoming a Doctor is EXACTLY what I see myself as doing. Our Lord has blessed me with a talent and I plan on investing it and returning it with even greater gains for His glory. True, I sometimes feel that I haven't been blessed with the best memory - but luckily, I do have lots of patience and determination.

Therefore, I respectfully request that people stop writing "So sorry to hear..." e-mails. I'm not sorry I failed. Failing is quite possibly the best thing that could have happened to me, as it has kicked me into high gear and instilled a sense of confidence in myself that I haven't had in medical school. I am more confident and strong and determined now about my abilities and my goals than I ever was the past two years leading up to this exam.

So what happens next? I am currently studying again, will retake the exam probably first week of September and I look forward to letting you all know that I PASSED the exam. Those results will probably arrive around end of September. Stay tuned!