Home Sweet Home

Medical school is over. Four years of lots of studying and long nights; well, the lots of studying and sleepless nights aren't over, but paying tuition is over. I arrive home Wednesday night. That's right, this Wednesday night (May 12), I return to Fresno. I have checked the weather and it looks like it is in the 70s. For some reason, the weather here in NYC decided to go south the last few days of my stay and we have been in the 50s. That's not totally bad, though, since this is a walking city and I sweat like stink when the weather gets hot.

For now, I return to the land of getting in your car to go 100 feet, 108 degree weather, but most importantly, loving family and friends who I have missed over the last 4 months. What the future holds after June, however, is an open question and I'm excited about the possibilities.

Fair warning: I will be somewhat of a recluse for the next 6 weeks as I spend every moment studying in preparation for the test. Let me ask for forgiveness now if I don't really hang out or do a good job of keeping in touch for a few weeks.

Happy Mother's Day

After Christmas, my favorite holiday is the one where I get to celebrate the wonderful women in my life who have helped shape who I am today.

We Will NOT Be Deterred

There are those among us in this world who hate us. It is a powerful word that every religion (almost) vehemently argues against, but yet, here we are with news of another possible terrorist attack. And it is in one of my favorite spots, Times Square.

I just received a text from NK asking if I was OK. I hadn't thought about it until he texted and then I realized that I am really, ridiculously, outrageously ANGRY. How dare someone be so awfully selfish as to think it OK to attempt to kill what could have been 100s or 1000s of people. Whether this is a homegrown terrorist or one from another country, if you are so pissed off at America and what we stand for, then please do us all a favor - either take a gun to your own head, or if you are too cowardly (which I suspect you are) to finish your own damn self off, then do us all a favor and move to a faraway place and be a hermit. But LEAVE US ALONE.

I love hanging out in Times Square. I'm there often and by the Grace of God this bomb did not detonate. But the mental stress is still there for the very reason that this could happen and it is totally fathomable that I could be there. But let's be clear: you cowardly terrorists will NOT deter us. We will hunt you all down and protect the freedoms that we have successfully fought to protect for over 2 centuries. And while we hunt you down, we will continue to live our God blessed lives to the fullest possible, appreciating all the gifts that God has bestowed upon us, not least of which is the freedom to go to Times Square.

Quickies: Where, What, When, Who

1. Where Have You Been?
I apologize for the lengthy wait between posts. Lately, I have just felt more enjoyment from spending all day at the hospital learning and then going to Manhattan and exploring, versus sitting inside and reading or typing up a blog. When you have no idea what the next steps in your life will be, it somehow puts all the wonderful "here and now" moments into clearer focus and you try to embrace and enjoy every moment. In other words, when you have finally stopped thinking 5-10 years into the future, what's happening now - right now - finally can fill your brain. And quite frankly, it is amazing how much of our lives we miss when we are constantly filling up our heads with what we will do next. I imagine this is what happens to a person when they receive devastating news about their health. Granted, in my case the issue is nowhere near as serious or grave, but the benefits are tangible nonetheless.

2. Where Are You Going?
OK, I suppose answering this question is fair, at least for the very short-term. I return to Fresno on May 12, arriving at 945pm on American Airlines (of course!) I become somewhat of a recluse for 6-8 weeks, retaking my USMLE Step 2 exam sometime in late June. I emerge victorious, and finally claim the title of Doctor (MD) and go celebrate somewhere. Vegas? DisneyWorld? Rome? That can be decided later by the folks who will inevitably (hopefully?) join me in my celebration. You know who you are. And then, I either, 1) find a job doing research for a year and try to Match into a residency position again, or 2) find a job doing research for half a year and enter a residency position mid-year if anything opens up, or 3) I sleep in every day for a year, get a part time job with American Airlines and travel the world in my free time. Point is, I don't know what comes after passing the exam, so please don't ask. The Armenian phrase for I don't know is "chem keeder" - embrace the phrase "I don't know" because sometimes it is truly the best answer.

3. What Have You Been Doing?
NYC is an amazing place to explore. Here are some more great places I have seen (as much as I can remember, since it HAS been awhile since my last post!)

• Broadway: Been to Jersey Boys (which I felt basically took a $20 CD of music by the Four Seasons and recast it into a $60 minimum ticket "show" - in other words, didn't like it). Also been to La Cage aux Foilles (like the movie The Birdcage, this show is hilarious. It involves the audience - if you get a orchestra seat - and keeps you laughing the whole way. A must see!)
• Eats: NYC is up there with the gastronomic greats of the world. And I'm quite convinced it has no parallel when it comes to the diversity of eats available. We have had brunch at a restaurant run by Tom Collichio (the dude from Top Chef), Balthazar's for Brunch is also an amazing place that must be savored (and you should TRY to RSVP for weekend's otherwise you have at least a one hour wait). Some of my other favorites include Karam (a place NK's brother, AK, also loves) - the Lebanese owners of this place make Kebab and hummus and tabouleh as close to the way my family makes it as I have found. The irony is that I love treating myself to Tabouleh ($5) every now and again - but I joke that when I get home, the QUEEN of Tabouleh (my mom) will make it everyday and I will again grow tired of it :)
• Parks: What NYC lacks throughout the city (trees, greenery, open space), it makes up for in some pretty amazing parks. The most well-known and possibly largest of these is Central Park. Every time I go there I discover something new! But when the weather is nice, there is a big green lawn that many New Yorkers love to go lay out on, play some soccer or frisbee or football, and rid themselves of the NYC "tan" (that amazing whiteness that Hanes does well in t-shirts, but should not be the color of human skin!) Indeed, there was a day a couple weeks ago when the temperature hit 87 degrees. Yes, I had the unfortunate case of gastroenteritis that day and couldn't go to work. The only problem was, I didn't plan on my newly acquired tan giving me away the next day.
• Subways: A whole year's salary (when I finally earn one again) says that I will get into your car in California and within the first 5-10 minutes, make one of the new automated subway announcements that you hear on the trains here. "This is a Northeast Fresno bound 1 Express train. The next stop is, my house. Stand clear of the closing doors, please. Ding-dong." Embrace it, it is one of the quirks you all love about me. (And note, this is not a real bet - no I will not give anyone a whole year's salary. Ever.)
  
• School: Even though this blog post makes it seem like I am gallivanting around the city all the time, the truth is that the majority of my time is spent in the hospital. Actually, this should be past tense. I just finished my Neurology rotation in Staten Island - it was up there as one of the rotations I enjoyed quite a bit because the Attendings were totally focused on education and helping us learn the nuances of Neurology. Now I have two weeks of Dermatology at Brooklyn Hospital. I finish on May 7 with rotations. In other words, the only hurdle left between me and my MD is passing Step 2. And that will happen very soon.

I'm sure there are things I have forgotten, but this post should keep you all happy for a little bit. And by you all, I imagine the 4 of you who check everyday, multiple times a day - thank you :)

See you all on May 12.

What's Next? I Don't Know

In medical school we are often told that it is OK, as a medical student, to say "I don't know". Follow it up with a little "I will find out" and a sprinkle of smile and you are all good. This practice works well when a patient asks you about how the moon's position around earth could affect her health and well-being. However, you can't say "I don't know" during the big bad exam and expect to be given a pass. As such, as most of you know, I missed passing Step 2, again, by about 3-4 points (I've blocked it out of my mind and can't remember whether it was 3 or 4).

While failing is a disappointment, this time, it was almost freeing. I did the best I could, the absolute best. I studied, did practice questions, and worked on trying to finish the test on time since I am a fairly slow reader. When I opened that score sheet, however, I still managed to miss passing by a hair. But, I discovered peace from it.

For the first time in my recent memory, I have no plans. Well, sort of. I DO plan on taking the test over again in June, but it is too late to make the "Match" for a residency starting this summer. In other words, I won't be starting the next phase of my "Doctor" training in lock-step with my previous "plans". I will have, essentially, nothing to do! And weirdly, rather than be terrified, I'm quite excited about it!

When I finished 8th grade, I already knew where I was going for high school. When I finished high school, I had a couple months but then it was straight to College. When I finished there, I literally had a week or two to pack up and move to NYC for the summer and from there to Baltimore. When I finished teaching, I shipped my stuff home, packed up, and moved right again to the Caribbean. Got home from there and these last two years I have been a vagabond, living in basements, other people's bedrooms (thank you Yal's), hotels, and even friends' living room pull out sofas (thank you NK). I have explored Queens, Staten Island, Fresno, Los Angeles, Grand Rapids and now back in Brooklyn.

My entire life, when people have asked me what I'm doing, I have had an answer for them. And now I won't and I feel so liberated!

I know God has a plan for me and somehow all these trials and tribulations fit into that plan. I am being made into the person He needs me to be for whatever He needs me to do to make this world, or my sphere of influence within it, a better place. And I do know that at some point, I will pass this test and the test that comes after it and I will do a residency somewhere that teaches me superbly and I will make an excellent Physician and help my patients holistically.

But in the meantime, if you want to know what's next, the answer is I don't know. I don't know! But whatever it is, I'm gonna keep enjoying this crazy and wild ride.

Grand Rapids Fun

I have been working hard here in Grand Rapids. I spend close to 11-12 hours at the hospital everyday, do a 30-36 hour call every 5-6 days and see more viral bronchiolitis than you can count on two hands. But, there has been some time to explore this very fun city with a great and vibrant downtown. Here are some things I would recommend if you are planning a trip!

1. Where to Stay: Courtyard Marriott
There is a strip of Marriott properties downtown - the Courtyard, the JW Marriott, and the Amway Grand Plaza. The latter two are super expensive and other than more plushing in their mattress, won't offer you more than the Courtyard. In fact, they offer less because internet is included here at the Courtyard. Perhaps because they are all owned by the same group, the staff here at the Courtyard is better than any 5-star property I have ever seen. The front desk staff is always exceeding my expectations and doing great things for me - like the birthday surprise they put together for me (see previous blog post). Stay here - you won't regret it.

2. Where to Eat:
There are lots of great local eateries here that use only local ingredients that are fresh and delicious. One of my favorites is called Cygnus 27, a restaurant on the 27th floor of the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel. The food is not cheap, but not ridiculously expensive, either. And if you go just before sunset you can get a gorgeous 360 degree view of downtown and the Chicago River as the sun's light evolves the colors over the city. And ultimately, when the sun is set, you can enjoy the manmade lights around downtown. And the food is amazing. I had one of the most moist and delicious salmon dishes I have ever enjoyed. Ever! That said, explore all the local eateries - they each have a niche market and great service.

3. Where to Visit:
Downtown is full of fun places to spend a couple hours.

• Art Museum: It is small and cozy with a pretty small collection. But, the architecture of the building is really cool and they do have some beautiful paintings. The $8 admission is pretty hard to justify, in my opinion, so I won't return - but it is cool for a one time visit.
• Symphony: Hands down a beautiful concert hall and a beautiful sounding orchestra. I enjoyed tremendously their interpretation of Concerto in D Major for Violin and Orchestra, Opus 61, by Ludwig van Beethoven. And the Grand Rapids crowd is amazing - we gave an almost 10 minute standing ovation at the end of the performance, with several curtain calls. It was well-deserved and a wonderful display of appreciation for a great orchestra. If they are playing when you are in town, YOU MUST ATTEND!
• Gerald Ford Presidential Museum: I haven't been yet, but plan on going.
• Grand Rapids Museum: Haven't been, but plan on going.

Overall, this is a truly vibrant city and I have been having a wonderful time enjoying what it has to offer. If you are ever in Chicago or Detroit, which are 3 hours away, it would totally be worth a weekend trip, or even an overnight trip, especially if the Symphony is playing.