Believe

The "big day" starts in almost 9 hours. I'm currently going through some nerves, but luckily loved ones are helping me keep them in check and keep everything in perspective.

Believe! I can! I WILL!

There are two very special stories I will keep close to my heart tomorrow, to help me through this thing. The first comes from a movie, although I didn't know that when I first read it. I was given this quote almost a year ago, on a post-it in the bathroom mirror (next to another post-it that told me to clean my side of the mirror), when I sat for this test the first time, by CY, a dear friend.

"You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one gets filled first!" 

I love this quote because it forces us to recognize that ideas only work, if we do. I didn't follow its advice, however, until reality hit me - hard - with a Fail. So, I have stopped wishing. I stopped wishing I had passed. I stopped wishing I had made different decisions in life. I have stopped wishing and finally, FINALLY started acting like I want to be a Doctor. Like I really, really, truly, more than anything else in the world, want to be a Doctor. I'm not wishing anything for tomorrow - I am KNOWING that with God's help, I will be successful.

And speaking of God, in the Church bulletin this past Sunday, there was an excerpt from C.S. Lewis that spoke directly to me. God always seems to know what we need and even though we all go through moments of doubt in Him, He always fills our souls with the strength we need. I will forever in my life cite this excerpt as an example of our amazing Lord trying to help me GET IT - speaking directly to ME!

C.S. Lewis wrote - or I should say, God spoke to me through C.S. Lewis by saying:
"At the end, I know, we are told an angel appeared 'comforting' Him. But neither comforting in English nor Greek means 'consoling.' 'Strengthening' is more the word. May not the strengthening have consisted in the renewed certainty - cold comfort this - that the thing must be endured and therefore could be?"

With the Lord in the driver's seat tomorrow, I know I can make it. I know I will be wildly successful. I have studied extensively and done what I need to do to be successful. Therefore, with the peace that one can only get from trusting in the Lord, I will go to sleep now.