Believe

The "big day" starts in almost 9 hours. I'm currently going through some nerves, but luckily loved ones are helping me keep them in check and keep everything in perspective.

Believe! I can! I WILL!

There are two very special stories I will keep close to my heart tomorrow, to help me through this thing. The first comes from a movie, although I didn't know that when I first read it. I was given this quote almost a year ago, on a post-it in the bathroom mirror (next to another post-it that told me to clean my side of the mirror), when I sat for this test the first time, by CY, a dear friend.

"You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one gets filled first!" 

I love this quote because it forces us to recognize that ideas only work, if we do. I didn't follow its advice, however, until reality hit me - hard - with a Fail. So, I have stopped wishing. I stopped wishing I had passed. I stopped wishing I had made different decisions in life. I have stopped wishing and finally, FINALLY started acting like I want to be a Doctor. Like I really, really, truly, more than anything else in the world, want to be a Doctor. I'm not wishing anything for tomorrow - I am KNOWING that with God's help, I will be successful.

And speaking of God, in the Church bulletin this past Sunday, there was an excerpt from C.S. Lewis that spoke directly to me. God always seems to know what we need and even though we all go through moments of doubt in Him, He always fills our souls with the strength we need. I will forever in my life cite this excerpt as an example of our amazing Lord trying to help me GET IT - speaking directly to ME!

C.S. Lewis wrote - or I should say, God spoke to me through C.S. Lewis by saying:
"At the end, I know, we are told an angel appeared 'comforting' Him. But neither comforting in English nor Greek means 'consoling.' 'Strengthening' is more the word. May not the strengthening have consisted in the renewed certainty - cold comfort this - that the thing must be endured and therefore could be?"

With the Lord in the driver's seat tomorrow, I know I can make it. I know I will be wildly successful. I have studied extensively and done what I need to do to be successful. Therefore, with the peace that one can only get from trusting in the Lord, I will go to sleep now.

The Five Finger Prayer

Continuing on the theme of Five, my mom #2 just sent me this email and I found it lovely and most definitely worth sharing. My test is three days away, the weather is projected to be nice (especially since Fresno is dry and not humid), and my brain is on overdrive - ready to go! God has set up a beautiful day for victory!

 

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a 'sweet duty.'
2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The

next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, 'The least shall be the greatest among you.' Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

Five

Five seems to be a marquee number in our lives. It is a nice, round number that we use as a benchmark to celebrate various occasions. Five year anniversary. Five year reunion. Five days in a week. Count to five in kindergarten. First Five in California to get kids prepared in their formative years. APGAR score in the first five minutes of life (if you are interested, ask and I will explain this one). There's even a really delicious Italian restaurant in Fresno, aptly named 5.

I would venture to guess that we like whole numbers - we all still remember the sing-songy way we learned 5-10-15-20-25-30-35-40-45-50 etc. in elementary school - because they give an air of finality. When we reach that milestone, we must have accomplished something.

Therefore, today I celebrate five days left until victory. Technically, as I write this I still have 5 days and 23 hours before the start of the test. But, you can't count the day of the test as a study day. So, I have less than 6 days left to study. Put another way, in the more comforting and celebratory way - 5 more days to go. The countdown is on. I have reviewed, rereviewed and rerereviewed. Pancreatitis, cholecystitis, hepatitis, and any other itis is well preserved in my brain for showdown on Wednesday, June 30.

I don't enjoy testing the Gods or inviting fate to bite me in the ass; so, with all due respect and reverence, I say BRING IT! I'm ready. Let's roll.

Quotables

Every year the New York Times writes a special article that shares with the world what graduation speakers at various commencements in the United States shared with the graduates. I find many to be inspiring and a great read. Enjoy!

John McCain
United States Senator
Commencement: Ohio Wesleyan University

"You might think that I’m now going to advise you not to be afraid to fail. I’m not. Be afraid. Speaking from considerable experience, failing stinks. Just don’t be undone by it. Failure is no more a permanent condition than is success." 

You can read advice from other speakers by clicking here for the article.

Inspiration

Congratulations to the Los Angeles Lakers!!

My championship game will be played on June 30. It will last 9 hours, through almost 360 questions. And about 3 weeks after that, God willing, I too will raise my trophy (the coveted MD Diploma). And the award for MVP through all this? My amazing mother who has cheered me on, financed my education, and never given up on me.

Tonight we celebrate the Lakers! Their win energizes us all...especially those of us going for our own championships.

Quickies: Test Date, Party and Travel Ideas

Test Update: I have scheduled THE test for June 30 here in Fresno. I'm excited because this is my time. I will be passing and I can't wait to feel the success and achievement, finally. And with passing, will come official graduation and my joining the ranks of medical doctors throughout the world.

Party Central: Many have asked about my graduation. The official graduation day for my school passed last week - CONGRATULATIONS TO NK who did participate in the day in St. Martin. I, however, never had plans to attend. Even if just my mom and I were to go, the airfare, hotel, food, and incidentals would approach $2,000. Therefore, instead I have wanted to throw a big party here in Fresno. I should find out I passed on or around July 21 so I'm thinking a big hoopla in August is in order. Let's get everyone together for some food, dancing and fellowship.

Travel Ideas: I am going to have a ton of free time after I pass my test and before residency starts. And trying to find a job right now is proving to be impossible! Research places want someone with experience. Teachers are losing jobs left and right. Airlines aren't hiring. I may be able to get a job at Starbucks, but many places like that keep saying I am "overqualified" - who knew there was such a thing. Therefore, I want to travel and explore new places. If you have any great suggestions for American or international destinations, hit the comments and share!

Back to studying for now!